Sofie Lilikoi Fox

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Lex Logan

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

August 23, 2010

Good Sleeper

Sofie is sleeping through the night. We crawl into bed, she nurses till she falls asleep and only wakes up maybe once in the morning to feed a little more and get a clean diaper. I wonder how long this will last. It ‘s good for The Fox, as I have to go back to work in a little less than two weeks.
I love sleeping with her, I know a lot of people get all freaked out by co-sleeping, but Sofie is safe with me. I have never been one who rolls around and moves a lot in my sleep. I have her on the breast, and she sleeps with it like it’s her favorite toy.

August 16, 2010

La Leche Ledgue Meeting #2

Went to the La Leche Ledgue meeting tonight. It was fun, I like being around other women and mothers. I will keep going.

August 13, 2010

Duct Problem

So I have been having this problem, I believe I have a clogged milk duct. It’s not good at the moment, its really hard, very sore, and just a bit red. Right breast upper middle. Not a good place.

I am going to try a few things and see if it helps. We already tried positioning Sofie with her chin pointing at the sore spot and let me tell you how much fun that was. I had to lie on my back with Sofie across my shoulder and chest and her cute little butt in my face. First across my right shoulder, then my left. Tonight I am going to pump till I get it.

August 9, 2010

No More Disposables

Sofie and I are the luckiest people ever. A very generous person has gifted us with a check for a start-up set of Fuzzi Bunz! OMGds! I was not expecting this, I am so excited.

I am going to order them right now.

August 8, 2010

Smile of my Heart

I think my heart just melted and it now has a burning passion. My baby girl, my wonderful daughter, my Sofie just smiled at me. I think I am in Love!

August 7, 2010

To The Park

The Fox wanted to get out, so he decided he wanted to go to the park. Well I have been feeling pretty strong and all cooped up so I wanted to go also. We get all packed up, drive up to the park and off we go. The Fox goes on ahead jogging, and the Bun in her stroller and I are happy walking along. It’s a great day, a little warm, and lots of sunshine. I am half way around the 1.5 mile track, and The Fox catches up, says hello and he’s off again. We finally see him again near the end, it was a nice walk. We go home, take showers, and guess what? Sofie decided to wake up, she has been asleep the whole time.

August 5, 2010

We went to Mama’s Hip today. Never been there before, always wanted to go. Love that place.

I have been researching cloth diapers and I don’t know which ones I want to use. My main problem is that I can’t look and feel the different diapers. Mama’s Hip happens to carry several different types and brands, so I was able to check out the differences. I now know I want my main stash to be pocket one size diapers, probably from Fuzzi Bunz. But I also want a few cover/insert types. The Fox and I bought a Flip Day Pack, it contains two covers and six inserts, enough for a day. That cost us around 50.00, but it will pay its self off in two weeks. Then because I wanted to try a pocket diaper we bought two Bum Genius. Those were about 18.00 a piece (I will have to use one about 55 times for it to pay for it’s self). Although I will have to do a small load a night I won’t have to use disposables again.
Now I can buy one Fuzzi Bunz every chance I get, or I can save up and go in one whole bang. If I save up then I might have to end up using disposables every now and then, but if I buy one a week, my stash will slowly grow and every week I will have one more diaper to help keep the evil huggies away.

August 3, 2010

It was rough today, first I skipped the nap I should have taken, then when I was finally ready to crawl into bed with my Bun, she wakes up and it’s a whole afternoon of crying. Non-stop. I wonder if she has colic.

So tired…need…sleep…when is The Fox getting home???

August 2, 2010

No Stump

Sofie’s stump fell off just now. I almost missed it in her diaper, now what do I do with it? Would it be gross to save it? I guess if I have to ask that question I already think it would be.

First Pediatrician Visit

Today was Sofie’s first visit to see the pediatrician who saw her in the hospital. We have not decided if we are going to keep this one, he seems like a good doctor.

When The Fox and I discussed what we would like in a Pediatrician for our daughter, we both said female doctor. If our child was a boy we would not have a problem. I don’t know why I am bothered by my little girl seeing a male doctor. I guess I just don’t want to have to change doctors when she gets older. I would feel the same way if I had a boy with a female doctor. I want my children to be able to talk to their doctors when they are older, and not be held back by shyness or misunderstanding.

Over all we liked the office, the wait time was normal. I really like the two separate waiting rooms for sick and well children. The nurse staff was awesome, even though when the nurse asking all the questions found out we had kicked the cats outside for the summer/pregnancy, she acted like a big cat lover.

Don’t get me wrong, I Love my cats, and they LOVE being outside. They spent most of their time outside the past 4 summers, just not all the time. She also did not have children. So, she is surly a cat lady.

Sofie today is 8lbs 15oz. She has regained all the weight she lost and then an extra 4 oz in 10 days. She has gained no length, which is normal. Our baby is perfectly healthy.

August 1, 2010

Seconds of Cuteness!!!

I just can’t get over how incredibly precious she is. All the faces she makes, melts my heart.

July 30, 2010


Sofie weighs 8lbs 10oz. She has gained all but an oz of her birth weight back in a weeks time. My baby is healthy and happy!

July 28, 2010

A Latch Problem

We were having problems, something wasn’t right. I just wasn’t getting Sofie latched correctly. It got bad, I was experiencing what I have read some women write about. Curling of the toes, crying every time she latching on, despair every time she is hungry.

I knew long before I Sofie ever entered my world that I would breast feed, and that I would never give any child of mine anything less than milk from my own body. I knew this could happen, and I knew I could get help. It is just so different experiencing it.

I had been to a La Leche League meeting on the 19th, only 9 days ago. So I knew I had help if I needed it. Dana came by yesterday, we talk about it, she watched as I breast fed, and we decided I needed to see a lactation consultant. So I called The Breastfeeding Center at the hospital and made an appointment to go in. So in we go, sit in a glider, and I feed my baby. The lady was very nice, she watched for a bit, and then had me try a few things, and we finally found the problem. I was going it half right, bring the baby to the breast. I was bringing the baby to my breast, just not all the way. It was so simple, and it fixed everything. I walked out of there so confident, so happy, I was doing great and I could feed my Bun.

July 27, 2010

Coming of My Milk

My milk came in.

My breast filled up with the life force for my child.

I will provide the very best, from my breast for my baby.

My body created this little person, and nourished her for the last 42 weeks,

I believe I can continue to nourish my baby from my body for the next 52 and then some.

July 26, 2010

Sofie Lilikoi Fox
Told and written by Dana Williams
Our wonderful Doula.
Born on July 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
8 lbs, 11 oz. 22 inches long
Alex and Katie are the most wonderful, enchanting couple ever. Alex is always ever so protective, providing and loving to Katie; Katie adores every thing Alex is and does for her. This family is so special. Alex and Katie nick named the baby “the Bun,” first as the bun in the oven. Soon, the Bun was short for Bunny--a family character from Katieʼs grandmother in Hawaii. Sofie was born after a long, arduous wait and labor. Katie started having some prelabor contractions one week before she delivered. A visit to the midwife was planned. Katie and Bun had a non-stress test, which was normal. Katie was dilated at 1 cm and the exam started some pre-labor contractions that lasted all through the day on Friday, July 16th. Katie, being a week late, was excited that the Bun could be here soon.

However, Katie woke up Saturday to no contractions. It was a peaceful weekend.

Monday, Katie called me, her doula, to let me know that she was feeling a little crampy, had upset stomach all morning. Sounded like Katie was in pre-labor again. Katie lost her mucous plug after lunch sometime. Pre-labor was moving along. Tuesday Katie had another Midwife appointment. Katie had made little progress, was 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and was 41 weeks and 3 days along. Beth, the midwife, suggested a Foley catheter induction on Wednesday to help the cervix move along. Katie was ready to see the Bun and wanted the induction started Tuesday evening. Katie was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday night for her induction. Wednesday morningʼs exam revealed that the catheter had done little to help. Katie was dilated to 3 cm and still 80% effaced and only having some mild contractions. Beth suggested a slow Pitocin drip to help move the contractions along. The Pitocin was started around 3 pm on Wednesday and ran until 10 pm that night. Katie still showed little progress in labor, still only dilated to a 3. More induction options were presented for Thursday. Katie slept Wednesday night.

Thursday morning the Pitocin drip was re-started at 5 am. By 8:30 am, no more progress was made and Beth suggested breaking Katieʼs water. Katie called me to give me an update and ask questions. At this point, Katie, understanding the baby was very late, knew she would be restricted by time if her water was broken. Katie decided to have her water broken around noon and wanted me present. I was on my way to be with her for the remainder of her birth.

I arrived at the hospital to greet a happy, alert, bright Katie on 12 mcu/min of Pitocin. Katieʼs mother and two sisters, as well as Alex were present. Katie was in good spirits and handling contractions very well, talking and joking through each one, stating, “This is fun.” Beth came in to do a vaginal exam at 12:40. Katie was dilated to a 4 and 70% effaced; her bag of waters was broken. The Pitocin drip was increased again at 3 pm, forcing Katie to become more serious and focused during contractions. Alex was amazingly committed, talking to and holding Katie through each contraction. The Pitocin was increased again to 20 mcu/min at 4:30, the highest rate allowed. By 6:30, and after all of Katieʼs hard work, Katie had made almost no progress and was still only dilated to 4 cm. Katie arduously labored on, trying to rest in between hard contractions.

Katie found some relief in the bath tub at 9:30 that night, however, the induction had started to take its toll on Katie, tiring her immensely. Katie postponed any more vaginal checks for a while. By 10:30, Katie showed signs that she may be in late active labor and possibly in transition. Contractions were long and hard, lasting over a minute each and giving Katie little rest. Her body was shaking, she wanted to give up, but labored on, wanting to know if she made progress, but scared that she would not have, she denied checks again. She asked that the Pitocin drip be lowered; it was. Katie got out of the tub around 11:30 pm in time for Beth to check her progress again. Katie was only dilated to 5 cm after all of her hard work, was 80% effaced, and her cervix had moved forward.

Katie labored on for 4 more hours. She walked the halls with Alex and Dana to help herself progress and some time standing in her room. Dana suggested that Katie take a bathroom break around 3:45. At that point, Katie was in so much pain and distress that she could not even use the bathroom any more. It was painful. Katie said she couldnʼt even sit down. Dana helped her to the bed and Beth was called into the room. Beth checked Katie again and reported no more progress. Katie was so exhausted and something was halting her progress. Beth suggested something for Katieʼs pain--either narcotics or an epidural, explaining that if her body was tired and tense, that an epidural would allow it to relax. The epidural would also allow Katie to get some rest as well. Katie was so mental exhausted that her brain needed to rest too. Katie needed to take a mental and physical break from the labor. Katie was very worried about what Alex would think of her if she got the epidural. She asked him if he would be disappointed. He said of course he would not. Then Katie asked Dana what she thought. Dana told Katie that she had worked so hard for so long, that she needed a break, and that if Katie did not rest, and continued as she were, that she would not have enough strength left to push when the baby was ready to come. Dana left the couple alone to discuss their options and to decide what they wanted to do. Katie decided to get the epidural and Beth was called into the room at 5 am. The nurses began preparing Katie for the epidural. They gave her intravenous fluids and lowered her Pitocin. Alex and Dana left the room when the anesthesiologist came to place Katieʼs epidural around 5:50 am. The process took 15-20 minutes and Alex and Dana returned to find Katie sitting in bed and her legs getting numb. Katie says, “This feels funny, itʼs like touching someone else, I never knew how my legs were.” She was feeling much better already. Half an hour later Katieʼs nurse, Holly, wanted to do another vaginal check. Katie had not progressed any, but the check was used as a gauge for her progress from then on. Holly wanted to do a bit of cervical manipulation to encourage it to dilate, but Katie refused because she was only half numb and the checks were hurting. Holly was wonderfully patient and informative, telling Katie that sometimes the epidural has to seep out and down the nerves of the spine and that turning Katie over to the un-numb side would help the epidural spread. Beth was concerned about Katieʼs lengthy labor and wanted to start IV antibiotics. Katie okayed the medication and she also had a urinary catheter placed. Katie was then turned on her side and then she fell asleep--a sleep that she really needed--both mentally and physically. Alex was asleep before she was, knowing that she was getting rest. Katie got a good two hours of sleep.

Holly came in to check her at 8:40 am before Beth would arrive for morning rounds to discover that Katie had made progress in her labor while she was sleeping. Dana and Katie talked for a little while about Katieʼs choice for the epidural. Katie said she was relieved now, and comfortable with her decision. Now she had hope that she could on with the labor. Katie said she was very scared of every vaginal check because she was afraid that she wouldnʼt have made any progression. She realized that her fears had lead her to self-fulfilling prophecy. What she was most afraid of had happened. She was relieved that the epidural was working to relax her body and let it do what it needed to do and that she could finally rest. Katie went back to sleep. Beth came back it to check on Katie at 10:30 am. Katie had made more progress and was dilated to 8 cm. Things were going well and Beth planned on checking Katie again by noon. Katie slept more.

At noon, Beth checked Katie again. She was dilated to 9 cm with an anterior lip. It was time to do some practice pushes to help Katieʼs cervix open the rest of the way. Katieʼs little pushes, along with a little more Pitocin moved her along the rest of the way. Katie said she was “having fun” again. Katie was pushing with all of her might by 1:15 pm. Alex was on her right, and Dana was on her left, lifting her shoulders as she breathed and pushed with every contraction. Katie worked so well with her body, moving the baby down and out. At one point, after Baby had crowned, Katie reached down and felt of the babyʼs head--covered with hair. The joke continued, “Sheʼs got hair!!!” Katie and the Bun were doing fabulous!! After pushing for only 47 minutes, Sofie Lilikoi was born at 2:02 pm--with lots of dark hair! Mom and Sofie were absolutely beautiful. As Katie successfully nursed Sofie, she looked up and said, “I did it!!” and Dana said, “Yes, you did!!”

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Thank you Dana, for being there and being our doula.

July 25, 2010

Going Home

Today we brought our baby home. The Fox and I drove the two miles from the hospital to our little house; everything looked different, the whole drive home everything felt different. When we got home we sat in the car for a few minutes, then went inside to see how our whole world has changed. We really didn’t know what to do first. So we set the baby in her car seat on the couch and just sat in our rumpas room looking at our daughter.

Then I went and crawled into bed with Sofie (because I can’t stand to have her out of my sight), and Alex brought in the rest of the stuff from the car and put it away. He took a shower and joined us. We watched our Bun breathing a while longer, marveling at her beauty then we fell asleep.

Only to wake a few minutes later when Sofie made a noise, it’s going to be a long night.

Our pregnancy is over and our new life had just began.

July 23, 2010

Sofie Lilikoi Fox

I have a daughter. She is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. I would do everything all over again and again for her.

I had a good birth, not perfect, not by a long shot, but I am happy with it. I got my top wishes.

Healthy, happy baby!

Vaginal birth!

I made my own choices!

I did everything in my power to make it happen.

I got to use the tub.

I kept my cool, and stayed my own person, I did not lose it.

I got to breast feed my baby right away.

I will post the birth story when I can put enough time into it. I will also post pictures, which I have to get from peoples. Time to recover, and love on my baby!


Pictures coming soon!

July 20, 2010

Fourteenth Pre-Natal Visit

I am sitting here at home after my pre-natal visit, writing this not sure how I feel about the choice we just made. I am 10 days overdue, but everything looks good and the Bun is healthy and fine. So I wonder why I made the choice to be induced.
Last night I finally had a moment where I could honestly say, “I am ready.”

I have loved being pregnant, I am sure I could stay pregnant as long as an elephant. Yes that is almost 2 years. But last night I just got really uncomfortable. I don’t know what it was, I have never had trouble sleeping, but I could not find a good position.

So tonight The Fox and I will pack out bags, say good bye to our home as we know it, knowing we will come back changed people and go to the hospital. I could wait a few more days, I have four days till I am over over due. I never thought it would happen this way. I never wanted it to be like this. Am I second guessing myself? If I am doubting, does that mean I am not making the right choice? Should I be going into this with doubt and fear in my heart and mind?

I trust my midwife more than ever, but will my body do what I know it can? Do I know? We are going to start tonight with a Cervical occluding double balloon catheter. That will slowly force my cervix to open, and possibly trigger labor. If labor does not start we will then try breast pumping. Then, well then we have two choices, pitocin and/or breaking my water.

Should I wait?

I guess we are going to do this, I am so glad I have The Fox, he will be with me the whole time. I am very nervous, and yet I can find myself glad I will meet my baby soon.

See you on the other side!

July 16, 2010

Family Dinner

Baked spaghetti dinner. My man knows how to cook, I am so lucky. Somehow he can take a straightforward dish and turn it into something exceptional. I know my family loves to eat at our house.

I like to think of our little girl cooking in the kitchen with her daddy. The Fox is such a patience teacher. He never gets mad about the silly little things. When something seems like a simple thing to him, he never gets upset when I don’t get it because it is too complex for me. He will be such a wonderful father, and he has always been a wonderful husband and man.

Thirteenth Pre-Natal Visit

Did a NST (non-stress test) today. It was pretty neat, we could see the babies heart beat, and we also saw I was having some very mild contractions. Even though it was not her normal time, she did a lot of moving. Everything looks really good and healthy.

I am still at 1 cm, and 75% eff. Since every thing looks good there is no need to worry. My provider said we can keep watch, and decide what we want to do next week. I go in again Tuesday, then again either Thursday or Friday.

I must say I will be rather disappointed if I have to be induced. I have not had a “typical” pregnancy with all the symptoms and normal memories. I would like to at least have a nice memory of when I go into labor. Even if it is not pleasant, I would still like to remember something other than being induced. Is this selfish?

July 14, 2010

An Adjustment

Went to see my Mum’s boss today. He is a chiropractor, and he gave me an adjustment. Any other doctor I would never trust, but him I trust with my health. He is my “other people”, the person I go to for a second option. If he does not know the answer, then he knows where or who to go to.

The number one reason I trust him is that he goes to the root or source of a problem. No band-aids, no treating of just the symptoms. He spend the time to talk to you, to learn who you are. His personality is efficient and kind. He is not the type to stick to, “well we have always done it this way.”

Either way, the adjustment was great, it really helped to relieve some tension. It might help put me into labor or it might not. We are only 4 days over, very normal.

July 11, 2010

A Visit to My Sisters Church.

When my sister is here she always like to attend her church. It is called Unity of Louisville. She has told me it is not a christian church. That it is for all denominations. Right, sure, and I am stupid little submissive twit. So to be a really very nice wonderful sister, I tolerated attending this church with her. The last time I went was over three years ago. So okay, I let her drag me and the family off to this place. It may be a nice church, but it is still a place of one track minded denial. I will not ever be going there again, much less taking my Bun there either.

I would have been so very disturbed if I had gone into labor there. Good thing I didn’t.

July 10, 2010

Making a Belly Cast

Today is the guess date, and I have a feeling she is not going to come today. That is fine, my sister and I were finally able to do the belly cast I wanted to do. It was really fun, I still need to add another two layers, sand it, and then add a belly cast finishing sealant called Gesso. I am thinking I will use it as a wall piece in the Bun Space, so maybe I will decorate it. I will post finished pictures after I am done.

July 9, 2010

Butt Side Up

We had an ultrasound today. They wanted to check and be sure Cinnabun was right side down. Or Butt side up. She is, everything looks good and all is well. I did not ask, nor did I want to know and I am glad they did not tell me the weight. So that will be a surprise. We are sure she is a she. They gave us some pictures, so I will post them. They are a bit hard to see and that is fine with me. We do not need to see her just yet, she will be here soon enough and then we can look at her all we want. I am really excited, I almost cannot wait to meet my little girl.

Fox Party

Today we celebrated The Foxes Birthday. I wanted it to be a good one as it will be hard to have a real party after this. With Cinnabun’s birthday going to be to close, his birthday will be over shadowed.

We did have a nice party, all the family came over, and we grilled and had pot luck. The Fox was happy, so I am happy.

July 7, 2010

Twelfth Pre-Natal Visit

We are 3 days away from the guess date. Heart beat sounds good, everything is well. We will go over the Birth Plan next week. That should be fun. I left it rather late, stupid move on my part. I did get it into the file last Friday, but it still has to go though the pediatrician. Hope they don’t give me a hard time, as some of the stuff on the Birth Plan they might not like.

We will see.

July 3, 2010

Sweetness from the In-laws

The Fox and I went to lunch with his mother, sister, and niece today. Turns out they decided to throw a thoughtful modest baby shower with a couple of their friends. It was the sweetest thing. We went to Jason’s deli. The Fox and I had such a good time, I felt so special. I am lucky to have such a wonderful group of people for my in-laws.

June 29, 2010

Eleventh Pre-Natal Visit

Had my first exam today. It was not comfortable and I am not looking forward to any more. But I am told I am 1 cm and 75% eff. They keep asking me if I have been feeling any contractions. I really don’t think so, maybe a few Braxton Hicks, but nothing that I can really notice. My belly is rather tight, but I put that off as that the Bun is running out of room and I am huge.
Still nice to know things are normal and we are healthy. My primary midwife will be on vacation next week, so let’s hope Cinnabun can wait till after then.

June 28, 2010

The Nesting Has Begun

All of a sudden I get this urge to tidy, clean, and organize. It could come from seeing a room that looks more like a nursery. Or it could just be a normal pregnancy thing.

June 26, 2010

She Must Have Our Luck!

What a day! We met up with Mums co-worker Rana around 730 am this morning because Rana knows her stuff and boy is she fast. I have to say we must have gone to over a dozen yard sales in just a few hours. There was so much baby stuff. I was able to keep up, even with the waddle. It was great exercise.

The day was great, especially when The Fox and I found it. The exact crib we have been looking at. First we saw a really nice changing table, and it was only $25. I was not going to buy a changing table because they cost too much and are not all that necessary. Also I have limited room. But it is a very very nice changing table. So as The Fox and I are looking at this changing table really thinking we like it, the owner tells us she has a crib inside and asks if we would like to look at it. Sure, so in we go and one look and we both just can’t believe it. She tells us she will sell it for $25 also. The Fox and I have just enough for both, The Fox hands her the money and I am spinning in my head with joy.

Turns out if we had been 5 minutes later we would have missed it. There were a couple of people looking at the changing table when we came back out.

I can’t believe we found this crib and changing table for a quarter of the price of the crib brand new. It did not come with a mattress, but that is one thing I insist on being unused. Now we can spend a little more on better bedding and a better mattress.

June 24, 2010

The Nursery

We finally set up the back room to be our nursery, now all we need is a crib. We have an extra dresser we can use, except it is a very dark colour that I do not like. But it is all we have, so it will have to do. I guess instead of a white crib we should look at darker colours. I am not going to get a changing table because they are just to expensive and I can just use my bed, as I know a lot of people do. I need a lamp, and I am trying to decide what I want to put on the walls. I am going to throw together curtains for the window because I don’t want to use blinds. Just have to find the right fabric.

One very important thing I want is a chair to nurse in, this I will need before a crib as I have a bassinet we bought off craigslist in a package deal.

I know it is silly to want something like a glider chair when I could use my couch, bed or some other chair in the house to breast feed in, but I guess I just wanted something special. Mum, The Fox and I are going to yard sales this Saturday, so I will keep my eyes open.

There is still so much we need, and I don’t even know the half of it. I was hoping to have some help, I mean I thought that is why people have baby showers. But I screwed that one up. And I have trouble asking people for help. I feel like if I ask for help people will look at me like maybe I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.


(note: look for pictures. Will be finished setting up soon.)

June 21, 2010

Tenth Pre-Natal Visit

One week till I am 'in-range'. I am 37 weeks now, and still feeling great. Today is also the Summer Solstice, The summer solstice occurs when the sun reaches the Tropic of Cancer, and we experience the longest day and the shortest night of the year. This holiday can be heard of in the play, Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Summer begins on May Day (May 1 and ends on Lammas (August 1), with the summer solstice, midway between the two, marking midsummer.


The Fox and I went over to my Mums and The Fox made a pasta dish called Vesuvius. And it is named so for its very hot flavor. (He can add the details to the dish) Not only was the meal very good, very hot, it was also vegan. And you could never tell.

June 19, 2010

Birth in the Bluegrass Baby Fair

My Mum and I met up with Dana at Birth in the Bluegrass fair. I had a really good time. One of the sponsors is a company called Fannies, a cloth diaper service in the Louisville area. I am so excited there is going to be a cloth diaper service here. I am sure I could not afford it at this time, but the fact that there will be one is great.
Although I think I would prefer to spend my money on my own cloth diapers. I can run out of money for the service (then I would have to go to buying disposables, almost as much as a service) , but once I have the cloth diapers they are for keeps.
Just trying to figure out which cloth diapers I would want.

June 16, 2010

Butterfly Fingers

I have been feeling a very different movement from within lately. I have been waiting for the braxton hicks, or a less lovely sensation. So far, nothing like that. What I have been feeling I want to discribe as butterfly fingers. It is such a strange, wonderful, and bewildering feeling. It tickles and feels so soft and pleasant. We know her crown is down, so I am not sure what could be making those feelings. I am feeling them very low down, near my hips and in front at hip level. Maybe she does have butterfly fingers.

June 14, 2010

Ninth Pre-Natal Visit

Today was one of the biggest accomplishments I have had in a long long time. I can not tell you how happy I am. I started crying when they told me because I was so happy. I got my test results back, and my iron and hemoglobin are both fine, they are perfect. Right where they are supposed to be. And it was all done naturally. I did not have to get an IV and I did not even take the prescription iron they gave me.
What I did was trust my body and let my husband take over my diet. Beet juice, spinach salad every day, no tea, oatmeal and cream of wheat in the mornings. I will let him write about that menu on his own.
I also did one more thing. My older sister told me to start taking this liquid iron. Floradix liquid iron.  So I did, and that stuff is nasty, but I have downed worse.
Oh, and my group b streptococcus came back negative.
Next week, body painting and family photos.

June 13, 2010

Peddlers Mall

I really need a dresser to start putting Cinnabuns clothes and stuff in. So after looking at the prices of new ones, but of crap quality, I decided we would be better off spending the same amount on a used piece but of better quality. I prefer quality if you can't tell. So far, nothing. We looked through two today, and will get the other one tomorrow. Wish me luck!

June 9, 2010

Eighth Pre-Natal Visit

Today we did a Group B streptococcus screening. I am not really sure what that is. Here is a link.
Nothing too exciting.

Oh, and they did another iron test. If my iron levels come back bad, I guess we will go ahead with the IV. I will know next Monday.

June 1, 2010

Baby Shower? Maybe Not.

Okay people, so I am probably not going to have a baby shower. I just can't seem to put the thing together. I have never been good at throwing a party, even with help. So I am just not going to do it. I know this might sound bad, and I am really bummed out about it. My guess date is in...4 weeks, so I just don't see how I could put any thing together with out a lot of stress. I also have no idea how these things work.


I really only had something simple in mind. I wanted to have a coed shower, The Fox had some friends and their wives he wanted to invite, and I also have some guy friends I would miss if they were not there. Just grill out (definity with the corn), I think there are supposed to be games or something. A cake I'm sure, if the party has to do with people giving stuff, then I have always been under the impression you were supposed to have favors. I love favors.

One of the main problems is I had no idea who would actually come. I know that is part of having a party, not ever one can come, but I didn't want to put together something and no one show up. Simple fear. I have not been in contact with any one from my other life (work) save the people I am closest to. I could list all the problems and issues I am having, or I could just say this is too much stress for me to deal with.

Right now I really do not know what to do. I want to say no-go, but I also really want to celebrate the child who will change our lives. That and we do need help with the stuff. Oh well. I will just let it go.

May 28, 2010

Drive-in Movies


The Fox and I discovered last year our area still had a novelty. There is a drive-in movie theater, less than 30 miles away. Not only are the prices great 9.00 per person for two shows, you can bring your own food. The Fox and I put a mattress in the back of the jeep, pack a cooler, and get there two hours early because they fill up that fast and we like to get good...seating.


I think this will be a great place we can take Cinnabun when she is here. The Fox and I can get out, when/if she cries we will be in our own car, and I can nurse her with out people getting weird about it.

May 27, 2010

To help get rid of the poison ivy/oak I am trying a number of things. Today is the oat meal bath. I will also be trying dish soap, the green soap that is used at work, and then Ammen's Powder.

May 25, 2010

Seventh Pre-Natal Visit

I finally told my CNM about the rash. I had not told her before because I was scared it would mean something, and then I would become a 'high-risk' pregnacy woman. YES, I know how that sounds. I can see the error of my ways. I am not a 'suborn stupid' type, just a scared stupid. I took her the information from my family doctor, and showed her what drugs (antibiotics) they put me on. I told her we still did not know what started the whole thing. And again, to my ever lasting shame (what a cliché) she told me it looks like poison ivy/oak. Something so simple, so innocent. How could I have been so stupid?! I put our baby and myself at risk, because I am scared. I know I am a very suspicious, distrustful, and paranoid person, but I am careful to catch myself going to far. And this time I did not catch it. So few people would ever understand why I am this way, why I feel this way, why I don't see the harm in it. I can see how it can harm, and I usually know my limits. It has been a while since I have screwed up this bad.
It's just (here comes my words to justify) this life I carry is important to me. And I have to walk a thin line between what and who to trust. I do not have a lot of experience with the medical types, and our health care system is very backwards. I do not like how things are done today. We don't heal any more, we put out drugs. We don't educate any more, we try to fix the problems when they arise. I say when because they do, so many people take medication for what ever reason, and don't think twice about it. I am what I like to call debt free on drugs, I am on no medication of any sort. If I have a problem, I fix it. I do not need a pill to mask the problem. I fix it. It has always been important to me to know why my body does what it does.

Why are my feet swelling up? I am not getting enough water, I am sitting to long, its a minor side effect to pregnancy. I drink more water, walk more, swim more, make sure I am getting all my vitamins.

Why am I getting charlie horses/leg cramps? I may not always know the answer, why I know how to fix it. I walk more, stretch more, and make sure I am getting enough calcium.

Why do I feel like I am getting sick? The 'flu bug' has morphed again, and I am no long immune to it (my assumption). I am feeling the symptoms of my body fighting this bug. So I give my little fighter better conditions when they go to war. Better weapons, better fuel, more energy. I drink more water, get more sun, walk more, and take vitamin C.
What is the difference between vitamins and drugs? I can get my vitamins through the food I eat.
Lucky for me, this last visit with the nurse-Midwife has left me feeling A Lot better about my care with them. I am feeling more confidence and trust in them. I am happier and The Fox is happier too.

May 24, 2010

Last Lamaza Class and Meeting a Doula

Tonight was the last lamaza class for The Fox and I. He and I both really enjoyed every thing about the class, and we are really glad we went. I know some people who don't do the 'natural thing' would not like it, but it was perfect for us. I would suggest a lamaza class for every one, especially for women with men who are nervous, or don't seem into the pregnancy or birth. Luckily for me, The Fox has been with me step by step 100% of the way. He had as much fun at the lamaza class as I did.
We also met this really great lady who is becoming a Doula. I would really like a doula, but I just don't think I can afford one. There is so much I could do with that money, so much we still need. We are not rich people, and I do not have a lot of friends or family who will help us with our baby registry.
But I believe a doula is a very important member of the birth team. Maybe I can get my community to pitch in, if every one I know right now were to donate a single dollar, I could afford a doula. Do I have confidence in the people in my world? We will see.

May 22, 2010

CNA Class

Today I took the test! The test to tell me if I passed or failed the three week class.
And I Passed!!!

I am now a Certified Nursing Assistant! It was really an eye opener. The three week class consisted of one week class room, and two weeks clinical. The two weeks we worked with people in an assisted living home. I had no idea there were different types of homes. The one we worked in is for people who need just a little assistant in their lives. They are not bed-ridden, nor are they completely handicap. Most just need someone to help with all the medication they are to take. Some need help with showers, or some simple every day things like laundry. They don't have to cook, as they can go to the dining area to eat. I felt like a lot just wanted to be around other people, and it could have been easier living in a nice home. I am not saying it was easy, because there were a lot of people who needed more help than just assistants. It was a long, hard, hot, job. And we were there for only 8 hours a day. The home only had one CNA for a 12 hour shift, for the whole place. We did things I only want to do for my family. Why did I take the class? It does open doors to other jobs, and I can work on other certifications, like becoming a phlebotomist. Or maybe getting my CMA (Certified medical assistant) which is different.
I have had little if any complete thoughts about getting old, I now have quite a few. I see the way older people live in a different light, and then I find myself thinking about the way my grandmother lived in her last years. If I had known more then...*closes my eyes and sighs*
So this is a step and I know this is kind of small beans, as I really want to be a Nurse-Midwife, but to me it is a start. I think maybe I will work on becoming a CMA and Doula next. While I make my way slowly towards my main goal/dream of Midwifery.

May 18, 2010

Shame on me

I have this crazy rash on my legs. It started almost 3 weeks ago, and to my own shame I have done little to fix it. At first I had no idea what it was, but I knew it was itchy. I tried a few things (calamine lotion, ultraviolit stuff, tea tree oil), I just did not know how bad it was going to get.

As I said before, I signed up for a class and going to this has kept me from going to see a doctor. I had to log a number of hours, and I could not really miss any days or even really any time. It was a three week class 8-430. And again, I had no idea what would happen if I just ignored the rash. By the last week I was sleeping with ice packs between my legs because I could Not stop scratching. I made an appointment with my doctor the Monday following the end of the class. Over the week end my skin did a really crazy change that scared the crap out of me.

So yesterday my doctor tells me I have cellulitis. It's a skin infection. I can not say how ashamed I am that I have allowed this to happen. I have pretty much ignored a problem with my body that has obviously gotten worse. And that is not the worse part. I have put my child in danger from an infection through my body. I can't even think why any more. I am now on antibiotics, and still not sure what the rash was in the first place.

My legs are so swollen I am having trouble bending them. So I am sitting my bed, with the ice packs, hoping I have not hurt my child, and oh please make the itching stop soon.

May 16, 2010

Missed another pre-natal yoga class.

I have been wanting to go to this pregnancy yoga class for a while now, but something keeps coming up. The class is held once a week Saturday morning. So one of the big reasons I can't seem to make it is yard sales. There is a lot of stuff I need right now, and yard sales are the best.
Another reason is, okay this is really silly I know but, I have nothing to wear and I feel fat. The class would help with the fat feeling, but really I have bought almost nothing in way of maternity clothes. I have not walked into my closet in weeks now because every thing I wear is in a small pile on the chest at the end of my bed. But that is another rant.

Now I am about 32 weeks, and I wonder if I can still go. Another silly question there. I guess its just like me to doubt and hesitate being part of a women group thing.

My solution, netflix. I will get a few disc from netflix and try it at home.

May 14, 2010

My baby likes to dance.

Last night Alex, my mum, and sister all went to Derby Dinner, and watched their show, Hair Spray. As I have never seen either of the two movies I was new to the story. I am not big on musicals, but this was a well done show. The story was nice and music was fun. Even the Bun had fun, she moved so much every time the music got going, I could swear she was reacting to the music. Now I want to watch the movies.

May 10, 2010

Jason's Deli

I Love This Place! They have free ice cream! And it is really really good.
Okay, let me explain. We had a family get together to celebrate two things. Nora's graduation, she is now Dr. Nora, she has finished her PhD. and we are so very happy for her. (Nora is Alex's older sister)
The other reason is we were doing Mother's day with Alex's family.
Okay, so Jason's Deli is really awsome, it has great food, and seems to be on the healthy side. It has food for Alex, which means I can go there with him. Oh and did I mention the free ice cream?!?

May 9, 2010

Mother’s Day

My sister and I always make crepes on Mother’s day for our Mum. I always buy her toilet paper (because she never buys the good stuff), and we all just hang out and enjoy our time together. This year is the last of a kind for me. Next year will be a whole new world, and have a whole new meaning.
When I picture it now I can see my coming over with my daughter, putting her in bed with grandma (who is strictly told to stay there till breakfast is made), those two enjoying each others time while my sister and I do our break fast making morning thing. Lots of fruit, setting out the flowers.
Of course now that I have said it, it almost certainly won’t go that way.
I just can’t wait to see my mum with my daughter, it will be a picture worth taking.

May 4, 2010

Sixth Pre-Natal

This appointment was not a great meeting. I was told today that my iron levels are low and the doctor over seeing the midwives say I should go to the hospital and get an intravenous pumping iron into my system. Now I am sure this would scary most people and a lot of people will call me crazy, but no I did not jump up and freak out like I was dying, or killing my child. No instead I simply asked what my levels were and what the range is. Two weeks before I was fine, now all of a sudden I have to go to the hospital and get an IV. Not cool. I Do not like hospitals, and I do Not like doctors who don’t care about why something is happening to me. I want to know why this happened so fast. I am not just going to do every thing they say with out question. Yes I told you a lot of you won’t like this about me. I have a very paranoid and suspicious personality. I want to be 100% sure this problem can be fixed by extra iron. So I told the CNM I would think about it, talk to my ‘others’, and get back to her.
On the way our I asked for copies of my lad results. Faxed those to my, ‘others’, then took a look at them.

Turns out, my iron is fine, its my hemoglobin numbers that are off. I am under the threshold by .1 point. Hemoglobin is a regulator of iron metabolism, and they are a oxygen-carrying protein. Follow the links, they can explain better. So I am now supposed to be anemic, with out any of the symptoms save one uncommon one, edema.

I see this problem right now as, my system is a bucket, and water is the iron, and there is not enough water in the bucket. Well that could be form a number of reasons, but because my hemoglobin numbers are low, it means there are holes in my bucket; because that’s what hemoglobin does, it’s what helps hold the iron in. So instead of adding more water (which I will do any way with out making another little hole), I want to patch the holes that are not supposed to be there.

Okay, look I know most of this has come out all crazy like, and I just can’t seem to write well. But I am really upset about this whole thing. I feel like I am losing control of my body and I am scared of the domino effect. Don’t get me wrong, I can see this from most of the logical and rational sides, but I am still scared of what could happen if this is not fixed promptly and most of all properly. I am a naturalist, I wish I heal my body in a natural way. So I will change my diet, add more iron. And let you know what else I find.



p.s.

They tried to use scare tactics on me saying if my numbers stayed too low, that after the birth they would have to use pitocin on me to make sure I “don’t bleed a drop”. I get that in regards to low iron levels, but still Not cool. When I asked about breast feeding instead, the CNM just pooh-poohed that thought. How can she call herself a real midwife?

May 2, 2010

I think my dogs know!

I think my dogs know. I never really thought about it, but I realized the other day that they keep sniffing me in specific areas. Now, we all know dogs are butt sniffers, I don’t get weird about it like some people, (it can be a tad awkward during my moon times), but it’s a dog thing. Well they have been coming up to me and inspecting my growing belly, and now my swollen feet. They will spend quite a bit of time going over my belly, I really think it’s sweet.

It’s like they know someone is in there, and they want to say hello. Or maybe I am just silly and they want to know why I am getting ‘fat’ really fast, like they see it as a sign of bad health (which it would be if I were not pregnant). Or maybe my stretching skin has a different smell than other parts of my body (hence the feet also).

I love my dogs, and this just helps me feel…well, like they love me too.

May 1, 2010

Party Pooper

There are only six weeks till the baby shower. I am getting nervous, as I am not sure if I can get every thing done and ready in that time. I have delayed on the sending the invitations because I keep thinking if I can not get every thing ready I will not have it. But I know the show must go on. I still have to get a program set up in here to do RSVP, and give directions, and more information. I don’t have a single idea who will even come. I know who I want to invite, but of those people I just don’t know why will show up. Okay I do know some people, like my very good and loyal friends. I still don’t even know how to throw a party, much less a baby shower. Now I see why someone else is supposed to plan this.

If any one has ideas or thoughts, I would greatly appreciate some advice.

April 28, 2010

Ultra Sound Number 2


I had another ultra sound today. I am happy, and yet disappointed at the same time. I am happy because we know the baby is progressing well, looks healthy and good, every thing is in tact, and most of the spine looks good. (That was why we got another, we couldn’t see the spine the first time). We are told she is at 3lbs 7 oz.
I am disappointed because of three things. One we could not see the very tail of the spine, should be okay but I also wanted to check one more time to be sure it is a girl. Two, she is breech still, not to worried there as she can turn when ever she wants. Three I was told I could have other family members come, but they had to wait till all the measurements were taken, then the sonographer would show off the baby. I think she forgot I had my mum and sister in the waiting room. Oh okay, one more. Four, she did not take any good shots of the babies head or face. She took over 70 of every thing else, but just never saved any good views of the head.

So that was my ultra sound. I am lucky to have gotten another, as I have a healthy baby with no problems to look at. I just hope she will turn before her grand entry.

April 26, 2010

Lamaza Class

Today is the first day The Fox and I got to our Lamaze class. I do not know what to expect, but it should be fun. Being in a room full of pregnant couples. At least now I feel and look pregnant.
I signed up for a class this week. I will not say what it is till I finish it. I am rather nervous, but excited. I am wanted to take this class for a while now, so here goes. It’s only 3 weeks, I will update then.

edit:
p.s. No it is not the Lamaze class.

April 24, 2010

Drinking Flat Crush!

Pre-natal appointment number 5.
Yesterday I did the glucose test. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, but I still was not happy about doing it. I was to “fast” from midnight till my appointment the next morning. Really folks, that not is fasting. A whole 9 hours? It’s like going to bed at midnight and skipping breakfast, how many people today do that? Any ways, enough about that.

For a few days after they handed my the bag with the bottle and instructions, I was really…worried, annoyed, scared, and then I got determined. I decided I was not going to let this silly test stress me out. So what did I do? I started drinking Brewer’s Yeast. Now this is something I have drank off and on since I was 16, and I HATE the stuff. To me it is mold, dried, powered, mold. It smells bad and tastes worse. But it is very high in this one very important thing, Chromium. Chromium works to lower insulin levels and in fighting diabetes. I have not been keeping up on the stuff because it tastes so bad.

But, now I have a very good reason to force myself to drink the vile stuff. I knew I would be drinking it after the Bun was born because it really helps with milk supply. Kind of like drinking a beer, just no alcohol.

So maybe I cheated a little, but I did every thing I was told. No eating or drinking after midnight until I give blood. Drink the whole 4 oz. in under 5 minuets, then note the exact time I finished.

Well, we will see how that turns out.

April 18, 2010

Bare Foot and Pregnant

So far I have had few if any symptoms in this pregnancy. The bump being the big one. I was looking forward to a couple I have heard of, but if forgoing those means I do not have to deal with the other not-so-nice ones, then so be it.

Alas, I am now experiencing edema. I have always had fat ankles and not very pretty feet, so this is not fun. So to work on this I have bumped my water in-take (not easy since I already am drinking A Lot already), potassium (yeah, for the yellow food), and calcium. All good for Cinnabun, I am also walking often, but I won’t bump that up, so I will add something else to do with my legs. I will try salt foot baths next. Can’t wait till this areas pool opens. Maybe I will just buy a small blow up pool and put it in my back yard.

April 14, 2010

Feeling the Bump

Last night was a stepping stone for The Fox and I. I have been waiting for this one thing to happen, and now it has. The Fox got to feel the small movements of our baby. It meant so much to me that he feels her, and I know it meant a lot to him also. I did not want anyone else to feel her before him, it just didn’t seem right. She does this funny thing where when she is bumping around and The Fox or I put our hands on my belly, she will stop moving. I mean it is strange because we just softly place our hands where I feel movement, but she stops moving. I do wonder about that, what it could mean.

April 8, 2010

Planning a Shower

The Fox and I are starting to get our act together to plan this baby shower/party. I have only had one party (you can see a small but funny clip of it on youtube), and I have no idea how to have a party. Also there are a lot of people I want to invite so The Fox and I want to move it to the back yard. He wanted to make it a party-party, and invite his friends. I have no problem with that, we are celebrating the Cinnabun. And we both had the same thought that because we spent less than $200 on getting married, we could have a real celebration for this reason. It would still cost less than a wedding.

The Fox has done a lot of banquets for work, and now he is all excited with a lot of ideas. So lets hope we can get this together in 9-10 weeks. I am pretty sure now of the date, a lot of people were having trouble with May, and it did seem too soon. So June 12th is about 9 ½ week away. The week end of the 4th is my baby sisters 20th birthday, and the weekend before that is Memorial Day week end. So a month before Cinnabun is due should be fine. Again I would be very grateful for any and all thoughts, ideas, and suggestions.

April 6, 2010

Forth Pre-Natal

Pre-natal appointment number 4. Today I saw the other CNM. And I have to say, I think I like her A Lot better. I felt more comfortable talking to her, and I did not feel rushed or silly. I feel like I can trust her more, like she is not just doing a job and she knows what she is talking about. I am really relieved and now I feel like I can relax because they are not going to force me to do things I don’t want to do, nor treat me like I’m stupid for worrying about it. Sure the other one has more experience and time, but this one seems to care more and has a true compassion for women.

April 4, 2010

Unsolicited Advice

I am at this moment in my life right in the middle of a thing. I have a friend, her name is Carrissa, and she is one of my best friends. She has an 8 year old daughter, and I think she is a really great Mum. When she tells me stories or problems about her daughter I find I do this thing that I believe to be a no-no. Yes, I do notice when I am a hypocrite. And this thing is called giving advice when I have no experience in what I am talking about. I do not have children, so I should not tell someone with children what I think about children. Lucky for me Carrissa is very kind about it, and she does not treat me like the naive idiot I am.
Now I find myself in a very interesting situation. I knew this would happen, and so far I have gone with the flow. I do not have children, yet. I have one on the way. And yes I have been getting what is called unsolicited advice. A lot of it I get from other mother, which in my opinion is fine because they know what they are talking about. It’s when people who have no children, (nor will they ever have children) give advice. And get funky about it.

I have quite a few dozen ideas about how I want to raise my children, and I am sure most of them will go right our the window when I get to the point of choice. But I have quite a few things I am very sure and still stand firm on. Things like what I put in my child, either mental or tangible. Television and food for starters. When the times move on I will choose then what else I might expose my child to, being other humans or again what foods.

I know this will be a learning experience from day one till the end of my life. And I also admit that I maybe know less than 12% of what I will learn, by doing. So I welcome all unsolicited advice, thoughts, and ideas. I may be a bit of a hypocrite in the giving, but not the taking.

April 2, 2010

Nice Change

It is very strange to be waking up in the morning, and going to bed at night. It has been three and a half years since I have followed a day routine. It’s different. Also the not having to leave for work is nice, I can stay at home and get so much done.

March 30, 2010

Places to Walk

Since I will not be working at UPS for the next few months, I will need to keep up my physical health. So my goal is to walk either one mile every day, or walk 5 miles a week and work my way up to 8 miles a week. There is this really nice park near my house. It is really quite nice, one of the nicest parks I have been in. I like to walk there. It is a private park, but open to the public. They don’t allow pets, but that’s because it’s also a nature preserve.

Another place I like to go is just a block from my house, it’s an old catholic cemetery. They have a nice path, and I can walk the dogs there.

So a walking I will go.

March 26, 2010

Is She Really a Disability?

Tonight will be my last night at work. I will be going to medical leave. I always thought I would work up to my due date, but that was before I got a job with UPS. Here at UPS I have the option to take ‘disability’ leave. My provider gives me a letter with restrictions, things like: no lifting or moving objects weighting over 25lbs, no climbing stairs repeatedly, should avoid prolonged strenuous activity including prolonged standing. All of these things I do, and much more.

The number one reason I wished to go on leave is not because of these activities, but because of the jet and vehicle fumes. Oh and the fact that I am having trouble being in the bellies of the aero planes. And it gets really really hot in the summer time, sure I work at night, but all the concrete just soaks and holds that heat. And the bellies get really hot. Unless of course you are in the belly of a 757 and they forgot to turn the air off. The flip side to that is it sucks in the winter, because that air is always cool. Sometimes the pilots will get to the aero plane and turn the top side air on right away, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they get to the plane fifteen minuets before we push, then we are done with the hard part and there is no time to enjoy the cool air, much less stop working long enough to get cool. Just to make a point here, I do not like working in heat, heat where if I were to be standing still, doing nothing I would feel sweat tricking down my butt crack. Oh, one more thing, I have found that after working top side, if I press my body and face up against the side of the plane, it’s so nice because the plane is always cold for some reason. Any one who reads this who works at UPS, try it!

March 20, 2010

Making Room

Mum, my sister, The Fox and I worked on the back room yesterday. Then we got all distracted by the food on the grill, and we stopped to eat the wonderful food. It got late, and we didn’t get to finish the painting. So The Fox called his friend, and they drank a couple of beers and painted the whole back room. I am so excited, next we lay the floor and I am set to decorate.
Thanks to my family and The Fox’s friend for helping.
Today was a good day for having a fresh new green and purple room. Today is also the Spring Equinox, also knows as Ostara.

March 14, 2010

Clothes

Okay, so far I have not needed to wear bigger clothes. I tend to wear sweat pants to work, as they are more comfortable under wet weather pants and to work in. And I wear house cloths at home, and I never really go out into the world, as I am an introvert.
But, today I did something I really don’t like to do. I went shopping, in a store, in a mall.
But, I was smart and crafty; I took my Mother and Sister with me. Well, my Mum wanted to buy me some maternal clothes. I am so glad they dragged me out of the house, because I have nothing to fear, the clothes don’t bite, and I can always blame my expanding waist line on the fact that Cinnabun loves ice cream. (oh Goddess, am I really blaming stuff on my child?) It’s the store people that bother me. Too many questions, and never there when you need them. Yes, I was one of those people once, and I am glad I don’t have to deal with snobby customers any more.

March 9, 2010

Third Pre-Natal

Pre-natal appointment number 3. I am feeling just a tiny bit better about her. But I still don’t like how she tends to dismiss my thoughts and worries. And she told me today I am worrying to much and looking into things to much. When is it okay to dismiss someones thoughts and worries when its your job to provide answers?
When I get upset about things I tend to put the memory away where I can’t remember details. I will let The Fox tell it, maybe he saw it a different way and I am exaggerating the memory.

February 28, 2010

Complete Together and Together Complete

The Fox and I celebrate seven years together today. Slightly more than a quarter of my life. Feels like forever.

February 25, 2010

How To Tell

I'm taking purple cup cakes into work tonight, to tell my co-workers what I am having. If it was a boy, they would have been green. Those are the colour we are using. Green and purple. Oh, and no theme yet beside perhaps nature. Any ideas?

February 22, 2010

Our Cinnabun is......

We know. We know what Cinnabun will be. We are so excited to announce that our darling baby will be a girl. And she will be our sunshine.
Still not sure about names. I have so many in mind. I know the middle name will be from where I was born. I love getting suggestions from people, they are so much fun. And I welcome all ideas and thoughts. I must say though that The Fox and I do have one in mind, but we are not telling. So for now She will still be Cinnabun, till she is born.

February 18, 2010

Hormones at Work?

I kind of did a rather not so smart thing at work last night. I really don’t want to tell it, and so I will leave it up to Carrissa, if I can get her to post it in.
I lost my temper with another co-worker. I really didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that. He really should not have gotten angry at stupid stuff, because when he gets mad he always expresses it physically. So he was throwing boxes down, and they were coming towards me. I want to say maybe some sort of maternal instinct kicked in, and I kind of snapped. I don’t know. My crew says it was kind of funny, because I have never flipped-out like that at the dude or any one. It scared me a bit.

February 14, 2010

Sleep is Fun

I have slept most of the week end away. I can sleep for longer than 12 hours now, when normally I can’t make myself sleep longer than 8. Must be a pregnancy thing.

February 1, 2010

Second Pre-Natal Visit

Pre-natal appointment number two. So-so, she still has not swayed me. But I have been thinking and I have decided I will stay with them because I don’t really have any other options right now. And she is not really bad, just kind of impersonal. I guess I find her to be more convenient than any thing else. And she is well located for us.
We go in for an ultra sound on the 22nd of February. Still not sure if we want to know what Cinnabun is. The Fox would rather know, but I am just not sure. We will decide then.

January 26, 2010

Fifteen Weeks

I am now 15 weeks, and I think I felt something. Just a little tiny bump. Like a little person tapping on the other side of a wall. I wish I could be sure its Cinnabun and not just my stomach gurgling.

More snow last night.

January 21, 2010

Fog and Lasagna

January 20, 2010
We have had fog for the last two nights. I really really Love working in fog. It makes the aero planes look like big creatures, and you walk under them and can believe they are going to turn around and look at you. Every thing is so quite, and feels spooky yet calm. I also love the way the fog smells, and really helps with cutting out the smell of the fumes.

The Fox made lasagna tonight. He said he was going to make a big batch of it so I could eat some all week. I was really excited because when The Fox makes lasagna it is really superior. What I did not know is that The Fox has been reading some of the pregnancy books we got for him, and they told him if you ever cook for your pregnant wife, to make the food bland. What The Fox did not connect is they were saying, bland food is nicer for women with queasy stomachs, and morning sickness. Which I have neither of those.
So now he has made this big batch of bland lasagna, and I am going to have to eat the whole thing. Poor me, my own personal chef, who loves me enough to think about my stomach. Yes, I am spoiled.

January 11, 2010

Bed Hunting

The Fox and I have been for the last six years, been wanting a bed. A real one. There is just always something more important to put the money towards. Especially, when our ‘bed’ we have now works just fine. I have put a lot of work into making it a nice place to sleep. It just happens to be two rather thick futon mattresses, on an old wood futon frame, which I have raised it up almost a foot with ghetto green spray painted bricks.
I am finding now that a full size bed is just not going to be enough, for The Fox, myself, the half dozen pillows I need, and the three body pillows we have. A firm bed is good for the body for sure. But not then you are pregnant and getting bigger.
So, today The Fox and I have bought a bed. I won’t go into detail, because it is a good bed for a good price and I am satisfied.
We had to buy new sheets too, and a mattress pad. That was more fun than rolling around on unmade beds where who knows how many people have laid.

January 8, 2010

Snow at work

It has snowed every night for the last three nights. I love working in the snow, even if it makes life pretty crappy.

January 4, 2010

First Pre-Natal Visit

Today was my first pre-natal appointment. I went to go see one of two CNM’s (certified nurse midwife), who is only 2 miles from my house. I am not sure how I feel about her. I really want a *real midwife, but as my insurance only covers these two midwives in a 100 mile range, I have to see one of them. I do not like, nor do I trust doctors. They are not healers.
I was not to impressed by this provider, I wanted to be able to change my mind about the health industry and be able to believe there are some people who truly care. Yes, I do have a bit of a closed mind when it comes to today’s medical society, but I leave a space open enough to see changes.
As I want to always give more chances to things and people, I have made another appointment. So we will see next month.

(*I say real because these women are attached to a hospital, so they have to follow only hospital standers. And if you have does any research on midwives, you will know that they do things a little different. They have a healthier philosophy, on births, women, and health of the mind during child birth.)

Pillow Hunting

I needed a body pillow, so The Fox and I went pillow shopping. What I had in mind was a long down pillow. And yes I wanted it at a good price. I already had one and I had bought it at Target for $20. So we went to Target, and the only down pillow they had was $45. And it was not even close to par with the pillow I had bought before. Then we thought we would take a walk thought bed, bath, and beyond. They really didn’t have any thing at all. So The Fox and I went to JC Penny’s because they were closest. Still, they only had a few down body pillows and at prices I could not commit to. It was started to get late, and I had run out of snack food so I was getting hungry. We decided to try Sears, I don’t know why I never think about them. I don’t really like those types of department stores, and ‘penny’s’ was awkward enough to walk into.
So we walk over to the pillow section, and they had so many pillows. They had a down body pillow for $30, and it was really nice. But while I was looking at this pillow The Fox had wandered down the line and was looking at a sale where you can buy one get one free on alternative down body pillows. For 30 dollars! I take one look at him and relies I have to make a choice, because I am a sucker for this face he makes when he wants something also. Here I am thinking of spending a lot of money on a silly pillow for myself, when I could -for the same price- get one for The Fox and myself. Well I won’t let down that easy so I ask him what he is looking at, and he says, “Nothing”. HA! This is the funny game we play.
I say something like, “oh, well what type of imitation bird does alternative down come from any ways”? He sees his opening and starts telling me all about this type of alternative down, as if he were the world’s greatest sales person. I pretend to think for a moment, and then ask, “How do they smell”?
“I don’t know, probably better than down from a real bird.” He says. We stand there thinking about how birds smell. And so because I know when I should give in and when something is actually a good idea, we buy two rather nice, animal free, pillows for the same price as my heinous solitary pillow. My husband is happy and I am satisfied. My karma is clean.

January 1, 2010

Twelve Weeks

I am 12 weeks. Still not 100% sure of the dates, but I am pretty confident