Seventh Pre-Natal Visit

I finally told my CNM about the rash. I had not told her before because I was scared it would mean something, and then I would become a 'high-risk' pregnacy woman. YES, I know how that sounds. I can see the error of my ways. I am not a 'suborn stupid' type, just a scared stupid. I took her the information from my family doctor, and showed her what drugs (antibiotics) they put me on. I told her we still did not know what started the whole thing. And again, to my ever lasting shame (what a cliché) she told me it looks like poison ivy/oak. Something so simple, so innocent. How could I have been so stupid?! I put our baby and myself at risk, because I am scared. I know I am a very suspicious, distrustful, and paranoid person, but I am careful to catch myself going to far. And this time I did not catch it. So few people would ever understand why I am this way, why I feel this way, why I don't see the harm in it. I can see how it can harm, and I usually know my limits. It has been a while since I have screwed up this bad.
It's just (here comes my words to justify) this life I carry is important to me. And I have to walk a thin line between what and who to trust. I do not have a lot of experience with the medical types, and our health care system is very backwards. I do not like how things are done today. We don't heal any more, we put out drugs. We don't educate any more, we try to fix the problems when they arise. I say when because they do, so many people take medication for what ever reason, and don't think twice about it. I am what I like to call debt free on drugs, I am on no medication of any sort. If I have a problem, I fix it. I do not need a pill to mask the problem. I fix it. It has always been important to me to know why my body does what it does.

Why are my feet swelling up? I am not getting enough water, I am sitting to long, its a minor side effect to pregnancy. I drink more water, walk more, swim more, make sure I am getting all my vitamins.

Why am I getting charlie horses/leg cramps? I may not always know the answer, why I know how to fix it. I walk more, stretch more, and make sure I am getting enough calcium.

Why do I feel like I am getting sick? The 'flu bug' has morphed again, and I am no long immune to it (my assumption). I am feeling the symptoms of my body fighting this bug. So I give my little fighter better conditions when they go to war. Better weapons, better fuel, more energy. I drink more water, get more sun, walk more, and take vitamin C.
What is the difference between vitamins and drugs? I can get my vitamins through the food I eat.
Lucky for me, this last visit with the nurse-Midwife has left me feeling A Lot better about my care with them. I am feeling more confidence and trust in them. I am happier and The Fox is happier too.