Shame on me

I have this crazy rash on my legs. It started almost 3 weeks ago, and to my own shame I have done little to fix it. At first I had no idea what it was, but I knew it was itchy. I tried a few things (calamine lotion, ultraviolit stuff, tea tree oil), I just did not know how bad it was going to get.

As I said before, I signed up for a class and going to this has kept me from going to see a doctor. I had to log a number of hours, and I could not really miss any days or even really any time. It was a three week class 8-430. And again, I had no idea what would happen if I just ignored the rash. By the last week I was sleeping with ice packs between my legs because I could Not stop scratching. I made an appointment with my doctor the Monday following the end of the class. Over the week end my skin did a really crazy change that scared the crap out of me.

So yesterday my doctor tells me I have cellulitis. It's a skin infection. I can not say how ashamed I am that I have allowed this to happen. I have pretty much ignored a problem with my body that has obviously gotten worse. And that is not the worse part. I have put my child in danger from an infection through my body. I can't even think why any more. I am now on antibiotics, and still not sure what the rash was in the first place.

My legs are so swollen I am having trouble bending them. So I am sitting my bed, with the ice packs, hoping I have not hurt my child, and oh please make the itching stop soon.