Drive-in Movies

The Fox and I discovered last year our area still had a novelty. There is a drive-in movie theater, less than 30 miles away. Not only are the prices great 9.00 per person for two shows, you can bring your own food. The Fox and I put a mattress in the back of the jeep, pack a cooler, and get there two hours early because they fill up that fast and we like to get good...seating.


I think this will be a great place we can take Cinnabun when she is here. The Fox and I can get out, when/if she cries we will be in our own car, and I can nurse her with out people getting weird about it.

To help get rid of the poison ivy/oak I am trying a number of things. Today is the oat meal bath. I will also be trying dish soap, the green soap that is used at work, and then Ammen's Powder.

Seventh Pre-Natal Visit

I finally told my CNM about the rash. I had not told her before because I was scared it would mean something, and then I would become a 'high-risk' pregnacy woman. YES, I know how that sounds. I can see the error of my ways. I am not a 'suborn stupid' type, just a scared stupid. I took her the information from my family doctor, and showed her what drugs (antibiotics) they put me on. I told her we still did not know what started the whole thing. And again, to my ever lasting shame (what a cliché) she told me it looks like poison ivy/oak. Something so simple, so innocent. How could I have been so stupid?! I put our baby and myself at risk, because I am scared. I know I am a very suspicious, distrustful, and paranoid person, but I am careful to catch myself going to far. And this time I did not catch it. So few people would ever understand why I am this way, why I feel this way, why I don't see the harm in it. I can see how it can harm, and I usually know my limits. It has been a while since I have screwed up this bad.
It's just (here comes my words to justify) this life I carry is important to me. And I have to walk a thin line between what and who to trust. I do not have a lot of experience with the medical types, and our health care system is very backwards. I do not like how things are done today. We don't heal any more, we put out drugs. We don't educate any more, we try to fix the problems when they arise. I say when because they do, so many people take medication for what ever reason, and don't think twice about it. I am what I like to call debt free on drugs, I am on no medication of any sort. If I have a problem, I fix it. I do not need a pill to mask the problem. I fix it. It has always been important to me to know why my body does what it does.

Why are my feet swelling up? I am not getting enough water, I am sitting to long, its a minor side effect to pregnancy. I drink more water, walk more, swim more, make sure I am getting all my vitamins.

Why am I getting charlie horses/leg cramps? I may not always know the answer, why I know how to fix it. I walk more, stretch more, and make sure I am getting enough calcium.

Why do I feel like I am getting sick? The 'flu bug' has morphed again, and I am no long immune to it (my assumption). I am feeling the symptoms of my body fighting this bug. So I give my little fighter better conditions when they go to war. Better weapons, better fuel, more energy. I drink more water, get more sun, walk more, and take vitamin C.
What is the difference between vitamins and drugs? I can get my vitamins through the food I eat.
Lucky for me, this last visit with the nurse-Midwife has left me feeling A Lot better about my care with them. I am feeling more confidence and trust in them. I am happier and The Fox is happier too.

Last Lamaza Class and Meeting a Doula

Tonight was the last lamaza class for The Fox and I. He and I both really enjoyed every thing about the class, and we are really glad we went. I know some people who don't do the 'natural thing' would not like it, but it was perfect for us. I would suggest a lamaza class for every one, especially for women with men who are nervous, or don't seem into the pregnancy or birth. Luckily for me, The Fox has been with me step by step 100% of the way. He had as much fun at the lamaza class as I did.
We also met this really great lady who is becoming a Doula. I would really like a doula, but I just don't think I can afford one. There is so much I could do with that money, so much we still need. We are not rich people, and I do not have a lot of friends or family who will help us with our baby registry.
But I believe a doula is a very important member of the birth team. Maybe I can get my community to pitch in, if every one I know right now were to donate a single dollar, I could afford a doula. Do I have confidence in the people in my world? We will see.

CNA Class

Today I took the test! The test to tell me if I passed or failed the three week class.
And I Passed!!!

I am now a Certified Nursing Assistant! It was really an eye opener. The three week class consisted of one week class room, and two weeks clinical. The two weeks we worked with people in an assisted living home. I had no idea there were different types of homes. The one we worked in is for people who need just a little assistant in their lives. They are not bed-ridden, nor are they completely handicap. Most just need someone to help with all the medication they are to take. Some need help with showers, or some simple every day things like laundry. They don't have to cook, as they can go to the dining area to eat. I felt like a lot just wanted to be around other people, and it could have been easier living in a nice home. I am not saying it was easy, because there were a lot of people who needed more help than just assistants. It was a long, hard, hot, job. And we were there for only 8 hours a day. The home only had one CNA for a 12 hour shift, for the whole place. We did things I only want to do for my family. Why did I take the class? It does open doors to other jobs, and I can work on other certifications, like becoming a phlebotomist. Or maybe getting my CMA (Certified medical assistant) which is different.
I have had little if any complete thoughts about getting old, I now have quite a few. I see the way older people live in a different light, and then I find myself thinking about the way my grandmother lived in her last years. If I had known more then...*closes my eyes and sighs*
So this is a step and I know this is kind of small beans, as I really want to be a Nurse-Midwife, but to me it is a start. I think maybe I will work on becoming a CMA and Doula next. While I make my way slowly towards my main goal/dream of Midwifery.

Shame on me

I have this crazy rash on my legs. It started almost 3 weeks ago, and to my own shame I have done little to fix it. At first I had no idea what it was, but I knew it was itchy. I tried a few things (calamine lotion, ultraviolit stuff, tea tree oil), I just did not know how bad it was going to get.

As I said before, I signed up for a class and going to this has kept me from going to see a doctor. I had to log a number of hours, and I could not really miss any days or even really any time. It was a three week class 8-430. And again, I had no idea what would happen if I just ignored the rash. By the last week I was sleeping with ice packs between my legs because I could Not stop scratching. I made an appointment with my doctor the Monday following the end of the class. Over the week end my skin did a really crazy change that scared the crap out of me.

So yesterday my doctor tells me I have cellulitis. It's a skin infection. I can not say how ashamed I am that I have allowed this to happen. I have pretty much ignored a problem with my body that has obviously gotten worse. And that is not the worse part. I have put my child in danger from an infection through my body. I can't even think why any more. I am now on antibiotics, and still not sure what the rash was in the first place.

My legs are so swollen I am having trouble bending them. So I am sitting my bed, with the ice packs, hoping I have not hurt my child, and oh please make the itching stop soon.

Missed another pre-natal yoga class.

I have been wanting to go to this pregnancy yoga class for a while now, but something keeps coming up. The class is held once a week Saturday morning. So one of the big reasons I can't seem to make it is yard sales. There is a lot of stuff I need right now, and yard sales are the best.

Another reason is, okay this is really silly I know but, I have nothing to wear and I feel fat. The class would help with the fat feeling, but really I have bought almost nothing in way of maternity clothes. I have not walked into my closet in weeks now because every thing I wear is in a small pile on the chest at the end of my bed. But that is another rant.

Now I am about 32 weeks, and I wonder if I can still go. Another silly question there. I guess its just like me to doubt and hesitate being part of a women group thing.

My solution, netflix. I will get a few disc from netflix and try it at home.

My baby likes to dance.

Last night Alex, my mum, and sister all went to Derby Dinner, and watched their show, Hair Spray. As I have never seen either of the two movies I was new to the story. I am not big on musicals, but this was a well done show. The story was nice and music was fun. Even the Bun had fun, she moved so much every time the music got going, I could swear she was reacting to the music. Now I want to watch the movies.

Jason's Deli

I Love This Place! They have free ice cream! And it is really really good.
Okay, let me explain. We had a family get together to celebrate two things. Nora's graduation, she is now Dr. Nora, she has finished her PhD. and we are so very happy for her. (Nora is Alex's older sister)
The other reason is we were doing Mother's day with Alex's family.
Okay, so Jason's Deli is really awsome, it has great food, and seems to be on the healthy side. It has food for Alex, which means I can go there with him. Oh and did I mention the free ice cream?!?

Mother’s Day

My sister and I always make crepes on Mother’s day for our Mum. I always buy her toilet paper (because she never buys the good stuff), and we all just hang out and enjoy our time together. This year is the last of a kind for me. Next year will be a whole new world, and have a whole new meaning.

When I picture it now I can see my coming over with my daughter, putting her in bed with grandma (who is strictly told to stay there till breakfast is made), those two enjoying each others time while my sister and I do our break fast making morning thing. Lots of fruit, setting out the flowers.

Of course now that I have said it, it almost certainly won’t go that way.

I just can’t wait to see my mum with my daughter, it will be a picture worth taking.

Sixth Pre-Natal

This appointment was not a great meeting. I was told today that my iron levels are low and the doctor over seeing the midwives say I should go to the hospital and get an intravenous pumping iron into my system. Now I am sure this would scary most people and a lot of people will call me crazy, but no I did not jump up and freak out like I was dying, or killing my child. No instead I simply asked what my levels were and what the range is. Two weeks before I was fine, now all of a sudden I have to go to the hospital and get an IV. Not cool. I Do not like hospitals, and I do Not like doctors who don’t care about why something is happening to me. I want to know why this happened so fast. I am not just going to do every thing they say with out question. Yes I told you a lot of you won’t like this about me. I have a very paranoid and suspicious personality. I want to be 100% sure this problem can be fixed by extra iron. So I told the CNM I would think about it, talk to my ‘others’, and get back to her.
On the way our I asked for copies of my lad results. Faxed those to my, ‘others’, then took a look at them.

Turns out, my iron is fine, its my hemoglobin numbers that are off. I am under the threshold by .1 point. Hemoglobin is a regulator of iron metabolism, and they are a oxygen-carrying protein. Follow the links, they can explain better. So I am now supposed to be anemic, with out any of the symptoms save one uncommon one, edema.

I see this problem right now as, my system is a bucket, and water is the iron, and there is not enough water in the bucket. Well that could be form a number of reasons, but because my hemoglobin numbers are low, it means there are holes in my bucket; because that’s what hemoglobin does, it’s what helps hold the iron in. So instead of adding more water (which I will do any way with out making another little hole), I want to patch the holes that are not supposed to be there.

Okay, look I know most of this has come out all crazy like, and I just can’t seem to write well. But I am really upset about this whole thing. I feel like I am losing control of my body and I am scared of the domino effect. Don’t get me wrong, I can see this from most of the logical and rational sides, but I am still scared of what could happen if this is not fixed promptly and most of all properly. I am a naturalist, I wish I heal my body in a natural way. So I will change my diet, add more iron. And let you know what else I find.



p.s.

They tried to use scare tactics on me saying if my numbers stayed too low, that after the birth they would have to use pitocin on me to make sure I “don’t bleed a drop”. I get that in regards to low iron levels, but still Not cool. When I asked about breast feeding instead, the CNM just pooh-poohed that thought. How can she call herself a real midwife?

I think my dogs know!

I think my dogs know. I never really thought about it, but I realized the other day that they keep sniffing me in specific areas. Now, we all know dogs are butt sniffers, I don’t get weird about it like some people, (it can be a tad awkward during my moon times), but it’s a dog thing. Well they have been coming up to me and inspecting my growing belly, and now my swollen feet. They will spend quite a bit of time going over my belly, I really think it’s sweet.

It’s like they know someone is in there, and they want to say hello. Or maybe I am just silly and they want to know why I am getting ‘fat’ really fast, like they see it as a sign of bad health (which it would be if I were not pregnant). Or maybe my stretching skin has a different smell than other parts of my body (hence the feet also).

I love my dogs, and this just helps me feel…well, like they love me too.

Party Pooper

There are only six weeks till the baby shower. I am getting nervous, as I am not sure if I can get every thing done and ready in that time. I have delayed on the sending the invitations because I keep thinking if I can not get every thing ready I will not have it. But I know the show must go on. I still have to get a program set up in here to do RSVP, and give directions, and more information. I don’t have a single idea who will even come. I know who I want to invite, but of those people I just don’t know why will show up. Okay I do know some people, like my very good and loyal friends. I still don’t even know how to throw a party, much less a baby shower. Now I see why someone else is supposed to plan this.

If any one has ideas or thoughts, I would greatly appreciate some advice.